Finalist Fiction: Anthologies 2021 Best Book Awards
Finalist Fiction: Short Story 2021 Best Book Awards
Why wait for Christmas when you can be miserable all year long! Author and humorist Alex Bernstein presents a collection of quirky, bittersweet tales calculated to ruin even the most blessed festivities. Featuring the Glimmer Train finalist (but not winner) "Brownie Mix", the infamous chapter-book parody "The #$@!# Bicycle Boys Save Christmas, Again!", the never-before-printed "Blue Christmas", and stories previously appearing in such eclectic journals as The Big Jewel, Litro, Corvus, eFiction, Dysfunctional Family Story, The Legendary, Blue Print Review, and Hobo Pancakes, "Miserable Holiday Stories" is the perfect gift for that special someone you'd rather not ever hear from again.
NEGATIVE THINKERS APPLAUD IT. POSITIVE THINKERS WANT TO BURN IT.
Whether you're a fan of glass-half-full or glass-half-empty, this funny self-help satire—which has been described as "laugh-out-loud comic brilliance"—will crack you up until your face hurts. It's the perfect book or gift for women, men, adults, or any other unclassified species of human that falls into categories such as:
Frustrated optimists who are going crazy, thanks to the negative results they get with positive thinking.
Struggling pessimists who've discovered that expecting the worst has its advantages.
Confused optimistic pessimists and pessimistic optimists who are unable to stop overthinking everything, and ultimately end up not knowing what to think.
When freshman year at the University of Alabama draws to a close, Sara Donovan finds herself grappling with the same old question--listen to her head or follow her heart. What she ends up doing is purchasing an Egyptian souvenir funerary mask, and after a mysterious phone call, she's certain a ring of antiquities smugglers are operating in Tuscaloosa. With finals never far from her mind and her return to 'Bama hanging in the balance, she should be studying. Instead she launches her own investigation to prove her mask is indeed a stolen artifact, and not a cheap trinket. When it comes time to snoop, Sara is more than ready, or at least she was until a hot new teaching assistant moves in next door. Suddenly she learns things are never as they seem. Ever.
Beet Life is an absurdly funny satire of health & lifestyle culture and social media influencers written by Tyler Holme from the perspective of a fictional health & lifestyle blogger known on Instagram as @beets_by_beth.
After receiving over 100 followers on Instagram, Beth has decided to do what every extremely successful social media influencer does when they amass a huge following: write a self-help book full of unsolicited life advice for whoever will read it!
A COWBOY, AN HEIRESS, HER BROTHER'S HUSBAND ... AND A BADASS 72 MERCURY MONTEGO.
This is the story of a her loving a him - who's in love with another him - and that other him enduring an unrequited love for the original her. With a small-town Texas appreciation, this book is replete with humor, adversity, and the tenacity of survivors unwilling and unable to acknowledge defeat. Here We Go Loop De Loop by William Jack Sibley has greed, lust, sexuality, spiritual enlightenment, more lust, xenophobia, and the meaning of a life worth living, all woven into a single, outrageous knot in the insulated town of Rita Blanca, Texas. The author, a fifth-generation Texan and a resolute seeker of wisdom, truth, and the occasional virtuosic lie, with humor and reflection, has wrought a story of humanity through characters doing the best they can - just not terribly well.
The ancient legend of Pandora’s Box has become an idiom meaning “starting or opening up something that will cause many unforeseen problems.” This definition applies even today to the world of my real estate memoir, PANDORA’S LOCKBOX. When we agents open a lockbox for the key to show a house, we never know what could be coming out.
The stage for PANDORA’S LOCKBOX is the 1980s and the early 90s when real estate regulation was in its infancy. Elaborate perks (like office parties, gifts, money, vacations, event tickets, fur coats, limo rides, free ads, wining and dining) were given to top agents as a bribe for their business. With current regulations, they no longer exist as they did then. Which is probably a good thing. We were all exhausted from working, playing, and partying non-stop.
Thirty-one-year-old Dr. Chastity (Chase) Ann Morgan's continued search to fulfill her romantic fantasy of a perfect marriage takes her to an unexpected place when she begins to have vivid, déjà vu dreams of a mysterious, otherworldly man who calls out to her in the most alluring sing-song voice. While the recurring dreams aren't helping one iota in her struggle with romance, a structural engineering job opportunity along with a man who may be "the one" sends her back to Europe. What unfolds is not quite what she has in mind, and her life becomes more complex than expected, especially when her quirky family's dysfunctionalities pop up at the most inopportune times.
Finalist Humor/Comedy/Satire 2021 Best Book Awards
This is a collection of line art, ice breakers, art jokes, tiny love stories, and read-a-long dance party all hiding a secret question for the world's most famous enigmatic artist, Bansky.
Finalist Humor/Comedy/Satire 2021 Best Book Awards
Valencia Joy, affectionately known as Vee, is best known for her witty comebacks, inspiring others to Stay in Their Joy because God said they could, and for sparking healthy relationship debates between the opposite sexes. Forever a conversationalist and a lover of the wonderful, and sometimes complicated, world of being a female, Vee is bringing the conversation to your home. Do you need to wail to God? Vee will pray on your behalf. Would you like to slap Eve? Vee has saved you a space in line. Have you met a guy? It's time to spill the tea.
In the way that only Vee could, she's pushing the boundaries of all things taboo to talk about as a woman, like the pure joy of walking around without panties. Speaking of joy, how do you self-care? Do you self-care? Should you self-care?
Finalist Humor/Comedy/Satire 2021 Best Book Awards
Approximately 80 percent of Americans admit they haven't read the Bible. If they did, they'd be pleasantly surprised by its impressive quantity of sex and poop jokes.
David danced naked. Noah was basically a moonshining hillbilly. Ezekiel baked poop bread. Herod was eaten by worms. Jesus cursed a fig tree, just to prove he could. Mark went streaking. Hosea married a prostitute. Lot was date-raped by his own daughters.
It turns out, there's a lot of weird stuff in the Bible. Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem is a tongue-in-cheek look at all of it. From Elisha, who loosed homicidal bears on some kids because they called him bald (it's a long story), to the story of Ehud, who gets away with assassinating a tyrannical king because his servants think said king is taking a dump (also a long story), this book examines and casts new light on some of the Bible's stranger moments.
Organized by topic (poop, genitalia, weird violence, prostitution, gratuitous nudity, seemingly pointless miracles, and other fun stuff), Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem is a thoroughly researched (really!), reverent, and insightful look at the best-selling book in history.
Finalist Humor/Comedy/Satire 2021 Best Book Awards
This is a collection of stories I have written over ten years. Some have been performed on stage and were greeted with great hilarity. Some are more somber, even a little spine chilling. I have also included some of my history pieces as history is one of my great interests.
