Motherhood is not what it used to be, as more moms than ever before are having children later on in life. This is the must-have book for all moms who had a child after the age of 35--a group the medical profession not-so-kindly calls--'advanced maternal age.' Sharon O'Donnell writes about the humorous and poignant stories of having a child at 38 and how she discovered that breastfeeding and AARP membership aren't really all that far apart. Sharon says being a mom of a certain age can be tough and rewarding--and rather alarming when you realize that all the TV programs you watch have commercials for incontinence or the Scooter Store.
Extraordinary turns of event from inside the walls of a pretzel shop!
Pat Long's pretzel shop, Pretzel Land, is in the heart of Amish Country and puts her in contact with all sorts of people on a daily basis. Some are the salt of the earth (no pun intended) and others get all tied up in knots (OK, pun intended) being less than nice.
From the hilarious (Amish hip-hop dancer, anyone? Or how about the four-year-old who sang along with Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls"?) to the absurd (such as a guest who thinks she possesses the power of invisibility)--and all the cases of mistaken identity and foul-mouthed customers in between--this book paints a lively picture of humankind at its best and worst.
Some of these anecdotes will make you laugh, others will make you groan, and a few may just give your tear ducts a workout. So, sit back with your favorite snack (Would you like some cheese dip with that? How about a lemonade?) and enjoy these missives from deep inside her Pretzel Land!
Buzz Flyswell doesn't fit in at school. Despite his best efforts to act like everyone else, he's an outsider - and everyone knows it. All except his best friend Skeeter, who accepts Buzz just for who he is: A fly living in a hive full of honeybees. When the Queen grants the dreaded neighboring hornet colony sanctuary within the kingdom, tension mounts between the two species. And as the very future of the hive is thrown into question, Buzz is forced to embark on the greatest - and most dangerous - adventure of his short fly's life: a mission inside the human house on the other side of the garden.
When Dode Schneider, rattle-brained Indiana farmer, insists an abandoned mansion is haunted by ghosts with big butts who dance in the apple orchard, Pawpaw County Sheriff Boots Gibson happily off-loads the crazy complaint to Ruby Jane Waskom and Veenie Goens, senior sleuths in training with the Shady Hoosier Detective Agency. Ruby Jane and Veenie, lifelong gal pals, aren’t afraid of the haunted mansion, built by a con artist banker who rowed out of town on the flood waters of 1919, taking the town’s assets with him. The senior crime-cracking duo set out in their smoke-belching 1960 Impala to uncover the truth behind the century-old haunting legend only to find surprise evidence of long ago murder and mayhem. Along the way, Veenie and Ruby Jane chase down a missing drunk wiener dog, earn a lifetime supply of mystery meat sandwiches from Pokey’s Tavern, recover a stolen Harley, and uncover the startling truth about a long-cursed buried treasure. The investigation, which involves con artists, bank robbers, and hillbilly hoodlums, doesn’t go smoothly, but Ruby Jane and Veenie, fueled by senior grit, engage in crime-cracking hijinks that will leave the reader rolling in laughter in this classic comic crime novel.
In this knee-slapping dictionary—Winner of the 2017 National Indie Excellence Award for Humor and Finalist in the Humor category of the 2018 International Book Awards—for coming to terms with modern culture (or lack thereof), politics (so-called) and life (such as it is), bestselling author Sol Luckman reinvigorates satire to prove that--though we might not be able to change the world--we can at least have a good laugh at it.
Then again, maybe laughter can transform the world!
genetically modified organism (GMO): (n.) member of the public who has regularly consumed the biotech industry's food products.
Taking a page from Ambrose Bierce's scathing satirical masterpiece, THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY, THE ANGEL'S DICTIONARY updates the genre to include blistering contemporary references and no small sampling of risqué humor to make adults giggle like mischievous teens.
entanglement: (n.) quantum physics term for when the sheets wrap around two bodies in space.
treason: (n.) crime against one's country and its people punishable by reelection.
shadow side: (n.) self you encounter when you do not look in the mirror.
“Seinfeld meets Sedaris in the Snapchat Age.” - Jill Dearman, The Great Bravura
Whether they’re trembling before an invasive squirrel, giving the straight dope to an errant call-girl or enduring a #MeToo moment with a handsy waiter on their Roman honeymoon, Kyle and Julius are just the kind of gay married couple who didn’t see the 2016 election coming.
In this variegated book of vignettes, flash scenes and personal essays, award-winning author Kyle Thomas Smith documents the peculiarities of life in his home, his borough, his chiropractor’s office and these times.
Don Ake craves free appetizers. He seeks them out and gets very dissapointed when denied food. This is just one of Don's quirks which set the table for quirky humor on a wide variety of highly relateable subjects. You didn't know that having blood drawn or getting a flu shot could be so captivating and interesting, but Don can make you laugh at just about anything. This is a collection of short, humorous essays which is the perfect book for the beach or reading in short intervals. Gauranteed to make you laugh, and laugh hard.
Life doesn't end when you step through the doors of the Reedy Fork Retirement Home, it is just beginning. 17 stories of life written with humor. Learn about laughter, love, life and getting old through the people of Reedy Fork Retirement Home. Who knows, you may want to join them when your time draws near.
In his previous collection, Not Quite so Stories, David S. Atkinson twisted reality with small absurdities. Roses are Red, Violets are Stealing Loose Change from my Pockets While I Sleep leaves sanity completely behind, pondering modern life through surreal humorous flash fiction involving Margaret Thatcher, jam appearing in boxers overnight, Gene Roddenberry, and more.
The Real News! gives you the inside scoop on Donald J. Trump, the most controversial public figure in the world, with never-before-told satirical stories about the man and the media who cover him—most of which he considers Fake News!
Go behind the scenes of Trump’s presidency in this hilarious compilation of shocking news!
Read it all here first: The Real News about our president—news so funny it’s hard to believe!
Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a year’s advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesn’t think so, which is why the thirty-three-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess match feud with management that doesn’t occupy nearly enough of his time. When foster kid Elroy is thrust into his life, Frank decides to turn this forced relationship to his advantage – launching a string of absurd decisions, inappropriate behaviors and unexpected glimpses of tenderness that ultimately turn a New Jersey suburb upside down. A laugh-out-loud celebration of bad choices for good causes, Managed Care is an offbeat story about three misfits on the social fringes of suburbia and their ridiculous campaign to introduce an unfiltered version of intimacy to their stale, impersonal community. Because, according to Frank, it’s probably what Jesus would have wanted.
Frank Barnes, a former professor and Senator from West Virginia is running for President of the United States on a third party ticket. Tired of the corruption and illegal acts perpetrated by the Republican incumbent and not much better Democrat candidate, he's determined to make a difference.
Behind in the polls, Frank hasn't a ghost of a chance of winning, until a real ghost-the ghost of Theodore Roosevelt makes a startling appearance and is determined to help him. A book bought for Frank's birthday, Alice in Wonderland, came from Teddy's personal library and his ghost is attached to that book.
When the book is stolen by a rival candidate, Teddy must go to extreme lengths to get it back into Frank's hands. With Teddy's help, Frank's numbers begin rise in the polls, but not without hilarious and sometimes disastrous consequences.
The Truth Is ... An unapologetic look at the life and experiences of one man. Throughout this book you will get the uncensored truths on topics ranging from teenagers, sex, relationships, marriage, drugs and the slap-in-the-face consequences for everything!
In modern day America, amidst the contentious presidential election campaign of November 2016, immigrant author Hureen Saghar Gandhi finds that humor is the only way to keep her family and her friends’ spirits high. Living a fast and furious life in Northern Virginia, surrounded by quirky characters, she decides she has no choice but to weave them into her satirical anecdotes in her book: Page 6 And Beyond. This book will have you laughing out loud as she embarks on a spy mission to: bond with long-lost childhood school friends on a sensational WhatsApp column; fulfill her bucket lists; chronicle encounters with her kids, and challengers; relate her childhood escapades; relive her misadventures in the Nordic region; and supply readers with extraordinary stories of her friends living in different continents.